Your vote, my entries :)

Dear Friends

Participated in an online Photography competition organized by ICICI Bank. There are 3 entries by me, please vote for them and be kind to spread the word 🙂

The links to the photographs are given below-
Pic-1: http://www.cameraderie.co.in/voting.aspx?image=6122#.USdDgs4gmrc
Pic-2: http://www.cameraderie.co.in/voting.aspx?image=6138#.USdECgJoSgE
Pic-3 : http://www.cameraderie.co.in/voting.aspx?image=6151#.USdELVL7SC0

Hope you’ll like them.
Your vote counts. All you need is an email. Please vote 🙂

Thanks in advance !

Sanjoy

Advertisements

Smooth Criminal

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife: "listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck."

"If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you!"

To which the wife responds: "he wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!"

Power Failure

Agony Uncle ?

Why Men shouldn’t write Advice Columns…. Here’s an Example…

Dear John,

I hope you can help me. The other day I set off for work, leaving my husband in the house, watching T.V. My car stalled, and it broke down about a mile down the road, and I had to walk back to my house to get my husband’s help. When I got home, I couldnt’ believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with our neighbour’s daughter.

I am 32, my husband is 34 and neighbour’s daughter is 19. We have been married for 10 years. When i confronted him, he broke down, and admitted that they had been having an affair since last six months. He won’t go to counselling and I am afraid I am a wreck, and need advice urgently, Can you please Help?

Sincerely,

Sheila

Reply:

Dear Sheila,

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all the grounding wires. If none of these solve the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

I Hope this helps,

Regards,
John

Thoughtful Signs

Spotted outside a toilet of an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.

Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR.

Notice in a field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR, THE BELL DOESN’T WORK).

At a zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

At a Hotel:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

In a Restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITERS RUDE SHOULD WAIT AND SEE THE MANAGER.

In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.

In a Coffee House:
PEOPLE DISCARDING CIGARETTE STUBS IN CUPS, WILL BE SERVED COFFEE IN ASH TRAYS.

Famous Big Holes

1. Kimberley Big Hole – South Africa

Apparently the largest ever hand-dug excavation in the world, this 1097-meter-deep mine yielded over three tons of diamonds before being closed.


2. Glory Hole – Monticello Dam, California

This is the Glory Hole at Monticello Dam, and it’s the largest in the world of this type of spillway, its size enabling it to consume 14,400 cubic feet of water every second.
A glory hole is used when a dam is at full capacity and water needs to be drained from the reservoir
.

3 Great Blue Hole , Belize

This incredible geographical phenomenon known as a blue hole is situated 60 miles off the mainland of Belize .
There are numerous blue holes around the world but none as stunning as this one.


4 Sinkhole in Guatemala

This photo is of a sinkhole that occurred February 2007 in Guatemala . It swallowed two dozen homes and killed at least
three people.

5. This Indian Parliament is the famous Rat Hole.

It is capable of swallowing Millions of Tax Payers Money annually, never to be heard from again! It is reputed to contain at least 534 + 250 ass"holes".

__._,_.___

Visa power of Hanuman

I wonder did Hanuman have a visa while his ‘business’ visit to Lanka.