Deadly Matrimonial Ads

Matromonial Ads By Girls

These are Girls’ ads taken from shaadi.com

These are actual ads on a matrimony site. Grammar and spell errors have no place in a profile description as everything is straight from the heart!

Disclaimer : I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this mail…

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Hello To Viewvers My Name is Sowmya , I am single i dont have male, If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good education

but i working all field in bangalroe.. if u like me u welcome to my heart…

when ever u whant to meet pls viset my resident or send u letter..

Thanks

yours Regards Sowmya

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i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from orissa state she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework (Homework?)

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Wants a man who knows me better and can adjust with me forever. he may never create any difficulties in my life or his life by which the entire life can

run smoothly. thank you

(The principle of running life smoothly was never so easy!)

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he should be good looking and should have a service. he Shoulsd have one brother and one sister. he should be educated.

(ain’t it unique !! 1 brother 1 sister criteria !)

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I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love. I am looking

for my dreamboy who will love me more than i. Because i love myself alot. If u think that is u then why to late come on …….. hold my hand forever

!!!

(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)

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i am simple girl.I have lot ofproblemin mylife because ofmylucknow i amlooking oneboyhe caremeandloveme lot lot lot

(I don’t know why but this is one of my favorites)

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My husband should be as ‘Shiva’ as in Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and as Tanwerr as in KSBKBT……

(Ok I haven’t seen these soaps but I am sure she must be demanding too much, ain’t he?)

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i want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast

(by not wearing his jeans? Wat the hell…)

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HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD.

THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY ,THEY ARE 1.THEY MUST BELIEVE INGOD.2.THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION AND THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.

(all of us are loughing{laughing} )

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hatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone groom and he must think of the future life if he is toolike this he would bde called

the man of the lamp (I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants)

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i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and i love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok (I am again clueless but I liked the use of “ok”. The person is suffering

from “Ok-syndrome” )

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HI IAM VERY COOL NUATHER OK MY HOBBY IS SEE T.V AND NEWS OK I HAVE 1 CAR AND 1 BONWL OK MY MOTHER ALSO GOOD OK MY FARUET WORLD IS OK

(the “ok syndrome” again)

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iam pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and fater&mother sister complity marred (somebody please explain in comments section how to get married

‘completely’ ?)

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e brother and parent.

i am doing postal sarvice and tailor master my original resdence at kalahandi diste naw iam staing at rayagada dist.

(actually what is this girl doing? Postal service or tailor.??)

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my name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes

pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes

(height of desperation! : )

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Iwant one boy who love me or my mother. he love me heartly or he havea frank he’s skin colour ‘normal’not a black or not a whitey. IThink the main think

is heart if your heart is beautiful then you are beautiful. but iam not a handsome girl or not a good looking. but my Mom say that Iam a good girl.

My father already expired . iam ”AEKLAUTA” . THE CHOICE IS YOUR.

bye bye.

(uttama purishinin)

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iam kanandevi. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.

(No comments)

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I AM LITTLE FAIR INDIAN COLOUR. I DON’T HAVE ANY HABIT.

(maybe the poor guy meant BAD habits)

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hello i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run my life happily.i divorced my first husband.his charactor is not good’. i expect the good minded

and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted

….

(but credit cards not accepted..?? ?)

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my colour is black,but my heart is white.i like social service

(Zebra..???)

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i’m looking out for who lives in bombay, boy simple who trust me lot should be roman catholic, LOVE ME ONLY.

(Now that criterion is a must, isn’t it?)

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to be married on jan-2005. working man perferable (this girl has fixed the marriage date too! But she is yet to find a bride

groom. I wish her best of luck on behalf of all of us. I am sure she will get one soon.)

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i would like a beautyfull boy. and i do not want his any treasure. becauseboy is the maharaja.

(Now he is going to be a lucky boy! Any takers?)

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ssc failed three times and worked with privated ltd company which not paying salary at present.

(Any takers again?)

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Quick Wisdom

When I was born, I got a choice – A big dick or a good memory. I am not able to remember, what did I choose.

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects.

Impotence: Nature’s way of saying “No hard feelings”.

There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men – don’t and stop, unless they are used together.

Panties are not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

There are three stages to sex in a person’s life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

Virginity can be cured.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner,you’d better have a good hand.

I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

Q: What’s an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and She was happy with the Thing……

Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn’t.

Teacher: Use “harassment” in a sentence.
Johnny: Her mouth said ‘no’, but her ass meant ‘yes’.

Q: What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A: A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone except you.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact ?
A: Breasts don’t have eyes.

Of course you’ve heard about the Viagra! computer virus, it turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.

Despite the old saying, “Don’t take your troubles to bed”, many men still sleep with their wives !!!.

Pappu can’t dance Sala

A couple, Pappu and Sala, preparing for their wedding, meet with their Religious Chief for counseling.

The Chief asks if they have any last questions before they leave.

Pappu asks, ‘We realize it’s tradition in our sacred religion for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women. But, at our wedding reception, we’d like your permission to dance together.’

‘Absolutely not,’ says the Chief. ‘It’s immoral. Men and women always dance separately.’

‘So after the ceremony I can’t even dance with my own wife?’

‘No,’ answered the Chief, ‘It’s forbidden in our sacred Religion.’

‘Well, okay,’ says Pappu, ‘What about sex? Can we finally have sex?’

‘Of course!’ replies the Chief, ‘Uh lala Ekbar! Sex is OK

within marriage, to have children!’

‘What about different positions?’ asks the man.

‘Uh lala Ekbar! Mwafi Mush Qilah (no problem),’ says the Chief.

‘Woman on top?’ Pappu asks.

‘Sure,’ says the Chief. ‘Uh lala Ekbar! Go for it!’

‘Doggy style?’

‘Sure! Uh lala Ekbar!’

‘A quickie on the kitchen table?’

‘Yes, yes! Uh lala Ekbar!’

‘Inside the Car on the parking lot ?’

Absolutely fine! Uh lala Ekbar!’

‘Can I do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket of honey and a porn video?’

‘You may indeed ‘Uh lala Ekbar!’

‘Can we do it standing up?’

‘No, absolutely not!’ says the Chief.’

‘Why not?’ asks the man.

‘Because that could lead to dancing!’