Nine Beleivable Stories

Received on email from a friend.

(ONE)

Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. “We don’t have half dozen nuggets,” said the teenager at the counter. “You don’t?” I replied. “We only have six, nine, or twelve,” was the reply. “So I can’t order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?

“That’s right.” So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

(TWO)

I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those “dividers” that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn’t get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the “divider”, looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, “Do you know how much this is?” I said to her “I’ve changed my mind, I don’t think I’ll buy that today.” She said “OK,” and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

(THREE)

A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM “thingy.”

(FOUR)

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. “Do you need some help?” I asked. She replied, “I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can’t get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?”

“Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?” I asked. “No, just this remote thingy,” she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, “Why don’t you drive over there and check about the batteries. It’s a long walk.”

(FIVE )

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, “I’m almost out of typing paper. What do I do?” “Just use copier machine paper,” the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five “blank” copies.

(SIX )

I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in “Twister.” I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the “cruise control” and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

(SEVEN )

My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: “I’ve got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?”

(EIGHT)

Police in Radnor , Pa , interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message “He’s lying” was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn’t telling the truth. Believing the “lie detector” was working, the suspect confessed.

(NINE)

A mother calls 911 very worried, asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and it should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer….. Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency room!

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Ode to the most important people in my life

There is my bai called Sundar1

Who is more of a nature’s blunder

She sweeps the floor

And knocks on the door

Just when to sleep I surrender

(1: Name same, bai still the same!)


There was also my cook called Anmol2

Who made in my pockets many hole

The Roti she would make

The policemen used to take

To be used as torture weapon against the foul

(2: Name changed to protect her identity. She is now thinking of joining Anti Terrorist Squad to teach em a lesson)


There was a watchman, Bahadur3 was his name

Sleeping was one of his favourite game

Some people came to steal

Even his pants they could peel

And all the while he was in the dream frame

(3: Name changed to protect HIS identity since I heard he has joined DREAMZ UNLIMITED inc and is doing good)


My driver, Deewan4, was his name

Formula 1 was his only aim

While he drove on the roads

There were heart-attack loads

And on rain he would put the blame

(4. Name changed to protect MY identity)


The receptionist in my office was called Sweety5

As per some men, she was cute and pretty

She would giggle, she would smile

And all the while

She would bat her eyelashes like a tweety

(5: Name varies as per the department 😛 What’s her name in your area? 😉


p.s.   Post was updated to let the readers in on the the current state of the various affairs.