Cowboy & Lesbian

An old cowboy – dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps – went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him.

After she ordered her drink she turned to the cowboy and asked him, “Are you a real cowboy?” To which he replied, “Well, I’ve spent my whole life on the ranch, herding cows, breaking horses, mending fences, so I guess I am.”

After a short while he asked her what she was. She replied, “I’ve never been on a ranch. I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. I get up in the morning thinking of women, when I eat, shower, watch TV – everything makes me think of women.”

A short while later she left, and the cowboy ordered another drink. A couple sat down next to him and asked,

“Are you a real cowboy?”

“I always thought I was,” he answered, “but I just found out that I’m a lesbian.”

Birthday Bash

A wife decides to take her husband to a dance bar for his birthday.

They arrive at the bar and the doorman says, “Hey, Rahul! How ya doin’?” His wife is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before. “Oh, no,” says Rahul. “He’s travels with me on the same local.”

When they are seated, a waitress asks Rahul if he’d like his usual and brings over a Kingfisher. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, “How did she know that you drink Kingfisher ?” “She travels in the same local too, honey. We share cabs with them.”

A dancer then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Rahul, and says “Hi Janemann, want your usual dhak dhal ya phir choli ke peechhe wala thumka?”

Rahul’s wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Rahul follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the dancer must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in and outside  the book.

The cabby turns his head and says, “Oye bidu, lagta hai aaj raat palang-tod maal uthaya, kya ?”