They Meant Business

Received by mail from Sarvesh.

A mom and dad were worried about their son not wanting to learn math at the school he was in, so they decided to send him to a Catholic school. After the first day of school, their son comes racing into the house, goes straight into his room and slams the door shut.

Mom and dad are a little worried about this and go to his room to see if he is okay. They find him sitting at his desk doing his homework.

The boy keeps doing that for the rest of the year. At the end of the year the son brings home his report card and gives it to his mom and dad.

Looking at it they see under math an A .

Mom and dad are very happy and ask the son, “What changed your mind about learning math?”

The son looked at mom and dad and said, “Well, on the first day when I walked into the classroom, I saw a guy nailed to the plus sign at the back of the room behind the teacher’s desk and I knew they meant business.”

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Uncanny Truths of Life

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.

The road to success??.. Is always under construction.

Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don’t need it.

All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening or married to someone else.

Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.

Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works.

If at first you don’t succeed?. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.

Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.

As soon as you mention something?? if it is good, it is taken?. If it is bad, it happens.

He who has the gold, makes the rules —- Murphy’s golden rule.

If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? the bus is still late.

Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.

When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.

If you have paper, you don’t have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don’t have paper?? if you have both, no one calls.

Especially for engg. Students—-

If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.

You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.

The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.

After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be more crowded than the other.

If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.

Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker

Phone Sex

Got as a forward and found the source in internet.

Humour, like I said is always at the cost of someone else’s offense…..

Chinese Eye Test

Got as a rare forward mail. can’t help but post it here.

chinese_eye

If you are not Chinese and If you cannot decipher anything, then try pulling the corners of your eyes as if you were Chinese or squint them a bit. (Half close your eyes and then read)

It works.

Road Sign Story

meaning of traffic signs

Signage- Cutting the long story short 🙂

Dying Parsi

An old Parsi is dying and calls his grandson to his bed.

Dad- “Dikraa, aai ley, for u, my chrome-plated 0.38 revolver.”

Son- “But bawaji,I don’t like guns. How about u leave me tamaaru gold rolex watch instead?”

Dad- “Chutia, shut up and listen. One day u have to run maaru business. Someday you gonna come home and may be find ur fataakri biwi in bed with some other bhonsrino bhadvo. Chutmarino, what will you do then? Point your rolex watch at him and say, ‘Time’s up?!’”

xxx

Felatio Fallacy

In India irrumatio ( for heterosexuals) is illegal and a criminal offense.

I wonder why the Indian law allows manufacturing & sale of ‘flavoured’ condoms.

Such law sucks…..or, whatever.