Presence of Mind

In a shop a man asked for 1/2 kg of butter

The salesperson, a young boy, said that only 1kg packs were available in the shop, but the customer insisted on buying only 1/2 kg.

So the boy went inside to the manager’s room and said “An idiot outside wants to buy only 1/2 kg of butter”.

To his surprise, the customer was standing behind him. So the boy added immediately, “And this gentleman wants to buy the other half !!!!!!”.

After the customer left, the manager said “You have saved your position by being clever enough at the right time.

Where do you come from? To this the boy said, “I come from Mexico. The place consists of only prostitutes and football players !!!!!”.

The manager replied coldly, “My wife is also from Mexico”.

To this the boy asked excitedly, “Oh yeah? Which team does she play for?

………………………………………………………………………………

“Believe in your presence of mind and never panic”

Dirty Mind

It’s Just your Dirty Mind

I’m sure you can imagine
As plain as you can be
The place is Picadilly
The player is He and She

She whispered “Will it hurt me?”
“Of course not” answered he
“It’s a very simple process,
You can rely on me.”

She said “I’m frightened,
I’ve not had this before.
My friend has had it five times.
And said it can be sore.

Then finally contented
Laid back and relaxed a bit
Quickly and readily he bent over her
And then he started it.

It was growing rather painful
Tears formed in her eyes
It was hurting quite a bit now
It must have been quite a size

“Calm yourself” he whispered
His face was filled with a grin
“Try and open a bit wider
So I can get in.”

“It’s coming now.” he whispered.
“I know.” she cried in a bliss
Feeling it deep within her now
She said “I am glad I am having this..”

And with final effort
She gave a frightened shout.
He gripped it in anguish
And quickly pulled it out.

She lay back quite contented
Sighed and gave a smile
She said “I am glad I came now
You made it worth my while.”

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.

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Now if you read this carefully
The dentist you will find…
Is not what you imagined
It’s just your dirty mind!!!….