Bollywood XXX

The other day there was this thread on Twitter “movies turned xxx” (wordplay with movie names such that it sounds like a xxx movie)

Examples from Bollywood-

Pati, Patni aur ooh !
Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Cum

Ajab prem ki gazab jawani
Come-in-ne
Ball the best

Mujhe kuch karna hai
Deewana Mast- ana
Yes-i-want
Ab Tumare Hawale Badan Sathiyo
Cheer-Zaara
Yeh Lamhe **udai Ke
Haath hi mera saathi

Bang De Basanti
Gol Maal

Jeena Yahan, Maarna Yahan
Dus jawaniyan
Bas itna sa saab hai
Shake up Sid
Cum-dog Crorepati

Pill leke dekho
Kal blow na ho
Maarna mana hai!

Maare Zameen Pe

*hut Polish

Sho Lay

The Dilido movies: replace Dil with Dildo and the results are hilarious

Phir bhi dildo hai Hindustani

Hum Dildo De chuke Sanam

Dilo to Pagal Hai

However using Pill istead of Dil also makes the names become equally interesting

Pill Diya Dard Liya

Pill-lagi

Pill Do Pyar Lo

Talking about innuendos, the following names would surely mean a thing to the dirty mind-

Laal Badshah
Chhota Chetan
Jaisi Karni Waisi Bharni

Zamane ko Dikhana hai
Hathyar
Ab Meri Baari
Khuli Khidki

Lage raho Munna bhai

Ek se Badkar Ek
Manthan
Teesra Kaun?

Pyasa

Do Aanken Barah Haath

Bandhe Haath

Parde Ke Peechhe

Weirdistan, meri Jaan

Safety ruptured

Safety ruptured

dnarB stropS

dnarB stropS

Now that's really important !

Now that's really important !

helmetaphor

helmetaphor

Long Day Basanti !

Long Day Basanti !

For Emargensi

For Emargensi

Makes good sense this.

Makes good sense this.

Coinnecting Chappal

Connecting Chappal

Ronald ki dukaan.

Ronald ki dukaan.

Simple is idiotproof.

Simple is idiotproof.

Nothing Official About It…

Cud Wiser By The Day.....

Cud….Wiser By The Day

Old Alliances…

Oba-moo

The WTAWTAO Correspondent: Obama Spoof

Oba-moo

The United-Teats of Hamaricow

23 Jan. Washing-tonne Desi

Oba-moo, a beautiful democrat black and white jersey, has taken over as the 44th selected president of the United Teats of Hamaricow.

The United Teats of Hamari-cow is the oldest cattle democracy of the world. This superpower has dominated every single aspect of cattle politics of the world for more than a century. They are terribly proud of their flag, which they call the ‘Stirs and Strips’. They have nearly always enjoyed the pleasure of kickbutting their opponents into pulp, but lately, they  appear to be taking a lot of shit themselves. The earlier head of the United Teats was a dumb and eccentric republican buffalo by the name of Jojo W Bhainsh. Jojo Bhainsh and his father, Jojo Bhainsh the Senior ruled Hamari-cow for 16 long years, interrupted only by the horny Bull Clintunn, who loved to work late into the night in his plush Oral Office with his dedicated intern Moni-cow Lovingski. During the whole of last year, United Teats of Hamara-cow was in the grip of severe economic crisis. It still is in deep bull-shit. Their main stock exchange, the Cow Zones has tanked by over 50%. So the cattle are expecting a lot from Oba-moo. They wrapped their flag the ‘Stirs & Strips’ and came out to cheer Oba-moo during the swearing ceremony.

Watch this space for more updates.

“Passed out” of college or in college?

This is the result of that “rubber’ comment by mystiquedew.  ne warnings from your end?

The following article is from The Hindustan Times, 10th July. American and Indian usage of English can foul up life for you   in the US, warns Amir Tuteja

Call, don’t ring !

I have lived in the US a little over 30 years now, and am thoroughly Americanised in the usage of English. I come across the Indian version from frequent contact with the Indian embassywallas, Indian students and visitors from India. There are so many differences big and small, in the meaning and pronunciation, in the usage of the same language – English – between Americans and Indians, that it can be amusing and even embarrassing at times.

Many moons ago, the first time I went to McDonald I did not know what was meant by the phrase “to go” ( which means to take the food away and not eat there ). The girl at the counter asked me “to go?” and I thought she was asking me to leave!  I was upset and retorted ” I have come here to eat, why should I go?” It took some explaining on both sides before I could place my order.

Americans are very verbose in saying things, which in themselves are somewhat different from those in India. One almost always says “How are you doing?” when you meet an acquaintance, and the accepted reply is usually “Pretty good” and not just “Fine”.

The reply to “Thank you” is “You are welcome” and not “Mention not”. But if you say thanks to someone like a sales girl, she is more likely to say “Uh-ha”.
Unlike in India,”Excuse me” deserves an answer like “No problem”.
When you are about to part, sometimes, you have to play games of getting in the last word. Expressions like “see you later”, “have fun”, “take care”, “have a nice weekend”,”don’t work too hard”, come in handy.

I am also reminded about the use of the expression “Really”. This is used to mean “Oh, I see”. For example, if somebody asks you where do you work, and you answer “government”, pat comes the exclamation “Really !”, which a first few times sounds like they do not believe you.       There are a lot of words and phrases which are used differently.
A funny example is that an “eraser” is never called a “rubber”, because the latter is slang here for a contraceptive!

An Indian friend at a restaurant, when asked, if she would like anything more at the end of the meal, answered: “No, I will just take the bill”. You should have seen the look on the waiter’s face – of course, she should have asked for the check which she could have then paid with a bill(s).

Many American pronunciations are different from the British ones used in India. For instance, one pronounces “schedule” as “skedjule”. Also “coupon” is pronounced as “q-pon”. When the “i” is preceded by an “m” or a “t”, it is pronounced as “my” and “ty” – for example the words “semi” and “anti”. When it is preceded by a “d”, unlike in India you do not say it as “die”, but as “dee”, for example the word “divorce”.

An elderly Indian couple have been living in this country for the last 20 years or so. This incident occurred a few  years ago. They were in one of those huge parking lots at a department store. On returning to their car after shopping they realised they had a dead battery on hand. So they looked around and the lady spotted a man about to get into his
truck. She told her husband that she would ask that man if he could help them. She approached him. The lady said, Hi”. The man replied “Hi, may I help you.” The lady said “Yes please, could you please give me a jump”.

At this the man was rather shocked, and sort of taken aback. He appeared to turn red, until he noticed the elderly gent in the car. Then he laughed and remarked that “Oh you mean that your car needs a jump st-
art”. The lady remarked “That’s what I said”.   Later in the car when the puzzled lady narrated this incident to her husband, he almost drove off the road roaring with laughter. It was only after he explained what “jump” meant, that the lady turned red. In fact we discuss this incident almost every time we go to dinner at their place.

By the way, she has never been to that shopping complex ever since this incident out of fear of bumping into that man!

Tailpiece : In the US you give someone a “call” not a “ring” on the telephone. A newly arrived Indian went to the university library looking for a job, and had a long discussion with the lady in charge. While leaving he told her, “Well I’ll give you a ring tommorrow.”   The lady was so stunned that she didn’t speak for a few minutes,
and then blurted out, “Isn’t it a bit early for that?”

Sum mor Ghajini Carts

Amul Rocks

Amul Rocks