Dirty talks

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.

“Well,” said her mother, “so – how was the honeymoon?” “Oh, mama,” she replied, “the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic…”

Suddenly she burst out crying. “But, mama, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language – things I’d never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You’ve got to come get me and take me home… PLEASE MAMA!”

“Sarah, Sarah,” her mother said, “calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?” “Please don’t make me tell you, mama,” wept the daughter, “I’m so embarrassed – they’re just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!!”

“Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset… Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!”

Still sobbing, the bride said, “Oh, mama… words like:

DUST, WASH, IRON, COOK…”!

Seven Hundred Ten

A woman came in a Garage and asked for a seven hundred ten.

All looked at each other, and the mechanic asked, “What is a seven-hundred- ten?”

She replied, “You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine. I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there.”

The mechanic gave the woman a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710 !!

He then took her over to another car which had the hood up and asked, “Is there a 710 on this car?”

She pointed and said, “Of course, it’s right there.”

Now go to the photo below to learn what a 710 is……….

710

Funny Clippings

Any other words you can think of? 😀

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Apology puzzle?

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No recession worries for this guy!

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‘Poet’ic Justice

See the picture carefully. It shows a corpulent, disgruntled looking man with a constipated kind of face, wearing a sunflower yellow T-shirt with a rather ominous message printed on it.

ALL POETS DIE IN

STEAMING POTS

OF SHIT  !!!

HA  HA  HA

Now my question is…who is this Be-Rhyme (बेरहम) man? Why does he want the poets to rot in such a putrid concoction? Why does he laugh in SUCH a rude way? I know many of you may secretly agree with his way of justice…still we must deliberate on a lot of things.

W-TAW.TAO  will take a principled stand on the matter after the discussions are over and done with.

Interim Ass-essment

Here’s are a few of the conditions which the enterprising quack probably forgot to include in his exhaustive list. See Chikitsa – The desi oye!

Here they are…

Sore-asses (Psoriasis)

Sorry! Asses! (again, Psoriasis)

Elephant-asses (Elephantiasis)

Hype-can-dry-asses (Hypochondriasis)

My-asses (Miosis)

My-dry-asses (Mydriasis)

Try-common-asses (Trichomoniasis)

Ass-steady (STD)

Ass-study (again, STD)

Ass-sting-mate-ism (Astigmatism)

Melon-asses (Melanosis)

Mole-ass-cum contagiosum (Molluscum contagiosum)

Nerve-ass breakdown

Fiber-ass-it-is (Fibrositis)

My-ass-it-is (Myositis)

My-ass-thin-ya gravis (Myasthenia gravis)

Ass-throw-my-sin (Azithromycin)

Ass-piring for more…

Chikitsa- The desi oye !

Self explanatory description

One is bound to get cured, just by reading this I am feeling much better….

Recession brings biggies to your neighbourhood!

Shop # 1:
Ronnie Screwvala’s  Hardware Stores and ‘You-Tea-We’ chai shop

Shop # 2:
Abbas Tyrewala puncture repair – Maane tu Ya maane Na (Believe it or Not!)

Shop # 3:
A R ‘Muruga-Dossa’India‘s first Non vegetarian south Indian restaurant

Shop # 4:
Bejan Daruwala Desi wine shop –Drink desi Wine
and

Forget your future in 2009 !

Shop # 5:
Karan Johari – Jewellery shop (Its all about loving your pendants!)

Shop # 6 :
Abhisheks MilkShakes – with BUN, TEA and BUBBLE(E) absolutely free (yeah yeah yeah I made it rhyme too)

Shop#7 :
Kareenas Tatoos – with SAIF needles ( and hold on… no no no pun, or double meaning intended)

Shop # 8:
Hrithik RationsKaho Na Pyaaz Hai!

Shop # 9:
Emraan Hashmi Dawakhana – We specialise in Badaam – Kisser Chyawanprash

Shop# 10:
Mahesh Bhutta – Only the best buttered corny stuff available here

Shop# 11:
Subhash Ghee and OilsTel se Tel milaao…

Shop # 12:

Salmon Can’s Canned Salmons + Arbooze Can’s Canned Beer outlet – Food that is CANtagious…

Shop # 13:

ShatruGUN Sinners Arms & Ammunition shop – First Josh, then Behosh and finally Khaamosh

Shop # 14 :

GoWINDah’s Table and Ceiling Fan Shop – Techicolour fans that will cool you but leave you blinded for life….(we also sell a Boppy Lahiri model with encrusted cheap flashy stones)

Shop # 15 :

Amitabh Watch n Ward – specialist in BIG, blog outsourcing and

watch (slum)dogging

Shop # 16 :

Nagesh Cook-u-Noor’s cheap Thai food Restaurant.

Shop # 17:

Ratan Bhai Tattoo – We use invisible ink made using nano-technology.

Shop # 18:

Laxmi Metal – World’s largest dealer in junk and scrap.

Shop # 19:

Roma Lingerie (By Raju) –  Finally, we’ve started believing in transparency!

Shop # 20:

Mallika’s Sherbat – Finger Lickin’ Good!

Shop # 21:

Aram Gonepal Varma’s  management Consultancy- How to run a Company, manage a Contract, Nishabd-ly screw the Sarkar , finally Phoonk the profits, Daud to Jungle and stay Mast.

Shop # 22:

King Shriek Can– Desi I scream parlour.

Special flavours include- Kabhi Kulpi kabhi Gam, Kabhi Almond na kehna, Swedish, Tub ne bana di Jodi, Cone Banega Crorepati,

Shop # 23:

AmirCan Gent SaloonFor variety of hairstyles

Special offer- One Ghajini cutting  free with one Mangal Pande cutting.

Shop # 24:

Ice Oriya Wry – Specialist Dry Cleaners

Special discounted rate for Watch n Wards

Shop # 25:

Govinda’s Dho-Bindass: Dhobi No. 1.

Shop # 26:

PriceWaterhouse Capers – Planners and executers of large scale heists