Deadly Matrimonial Ads

Matromonial Ads By Girls

These are Girls’ ads taken from shaadi.com

These are actual ads on a matrimony site. Grammar and spell errors have no place in a profile description as everything is straight from the heart!

Disclaimer : I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this mail…

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Hello To Viewvers My Name is Sowmya , I am single i dont have male, If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good education

but i working all field in bangalroe.. if u like me u welcome to my heart…

when ever u whant to meet pls viset my resident or send u letter..

Thanks

yours Regards Sowmya

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i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from orissa state she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework (Homework?)

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Wants a man who knows me better and can adjust with me forever. he may never create any difficulties in my life or his life by which the entire life can

run smoothly. thank you

(The principle of running life smoothly was never so easy!)

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he should be good looking and should have a service. he Shoulsd have one brother and one sister. he should be educated.

(ain’t it unique !! 1 brother 1 sister criteria !)

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I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love. I am looking

for my dreamboy who will love me more than i. Because i love myself alot. If u think that is u then why to late come on …….. hold my hand forever

!!!

(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)

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i am simple girl.I have lot ofproblemin mylife because ofmylucknow i amlooking oneboyhe caremeandloveme lot lot lot

(I don’t know why but this is one of my favorites)

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My husband should be as ‘Shiva’ as in Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and as Tanwerr as in KSBKBT……

(Ok I haven’t seen these soaps but I am sure she must be demanding too much, ain’t he?)

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i want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast

(by not wearing his jeans? Wat the hell…)

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HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD.

THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY ,THEY ARE 1.THEY MUST BELIEVE INGOD.2.THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION AND THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.

(all of us are loughing{laughing} )

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hatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone groom and he must think of the future life if he is toolike this he would bde called

the man of the lamp (I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants)

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i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and i love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok (I am again clueless but I liked the use of “ok”. The person is suffering

from “Ok-syndrome” )

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HI IAM VERY COOL NUATHER OK MY HOBBY IS SEE T.V AND NEWS OK I HAVE 1 CAR AND 1 BONWL OK MY MOTHER ALSO GOOD OK MY FARUET WORLD IS OK

(the “ok syndrome” again)

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iam pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and fater&mother sister complity marred (somebody please explain in comments section how to get married

‘completely’ ?)

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e brother and parent.

i am doing postal sarvice and tailor master my original resdence at kalahandi diste naw iam staing at rayagada dist.

(actually what is this girl doing? Postal service or tailor.??)

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my name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes

pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes

(height of desperation! : )

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Iwant one boy who love me or my mother. he love me heartly or he havea frank he’s skin colour ‘normal’not a black or not a whitey. IThink the main think

is heart if your heart is beautiful then you are beautiful. but iam not a handsome girl or not a good looking. but my Mom say that Iam a good girl.

My father already expired . iam ”AEKLAUTA” . THE CHOICE IS YOUR.

bye bye.

(uttama purishinin)

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iam kanandevi. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.

(No comments)

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I AM LITTLE FAIR INDIAN COLOUR. I DON’T HAVE ANY HABIT.

(maybe the poor guy meant BAD habits)

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hello i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run my life happily.i divorced my first husband.his charactor is not good’. i expect the good minded

and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted

….

(but credit cards not accepted..?? ?)

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my colour is black,but my heart is white.i like social service

(Zebra..???)

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i’m looking out for who lives in bombay, boy simple who trust me lot should be roman catholic, LOVE ME ONLY.

(Now that criterion is a must, isn’t it?)

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to be married on jan-2005. working man perferable (this girl has fixed the marriage date too! But she is yet to find a bride

groom. I wish her best of luck on behalf of all of us. I am sure she will get one soon.)

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i would like a beautyfull boy. and i do not want his any treasure. becauseboy is the maharaja.

(Now he is going to be a lucky boy! Any takers?)

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ssc failed three times and worked with privated ltd company which not paying salary at present.

(Any takers again?)

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Gender War

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM” He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?”

“Yep,” the wife replied , ” in-laws”

WOMEN’S  REVENGE

“Cash, check or charge?” I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

“So, do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.

“No,” she replied, “but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.”

W O R D S

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day. 30,000 to a man’s 15,000.

The wife replied, “The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men…

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, “What?”

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.”

The husband said, “You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.”

Wife replies, “No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.”

Husband replies, “I can’t believe that, show me.” So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says ………..”HEBREWS”

Interesting Phone Conversation

While searching for some old mail, found this from my mailbox. I got this through a forward mail on February 2004.

At least, forward mails were way better those days 🙂

Here goes the transcript-

K-“Who’s calling?”
W-“Watt.”
K-“What is your name, please?”
W-“Watt’s my name.”
K-“That’s what I asked you. What’s your name?”
W-“That’s what I told you. Watt’s my name.”

A long pause, and then from Watt,

W-“Is this James Brown?”
K-“No, this is Knott.”
W-“Please tell me your name.”
K-“Will Knott.”
W-Why not?
K-Huh? What do you mean why not?
W-Yeah! Why won’t you tell me your name?
K-But I told you my name!
W-Didn’t you say you will not?
K-Not not, knott, Will Knott!
W-That’s what I mean.
K-So you know my name.
W-Of course not!
K-Good. So now, what is yours?
W-Watt. Yours?
K-Your name!
W-Watt’s my name.
K-How the hell do I know? I am asking you!
W-Look I have been very patient and I have told you my
name and you have not even told me yours yet.
K-You have been patient, what about me? I have told
you my name so many times and it is you who have not
told me yours yet.
W-Of course not!
K-See, you even know my name!
W-Of course not!
K-Then why do you keep saying of course Knott?
W-Because I don’t.

[Pause]

K-What is your name?
W-See, you know my name!
K-Of course not!
W-Then why do you keep asking Watt is your name?
K-To find out your name!
W-But you already know it!
K-What?
W-See, and you know mine!
K-Of course not!
W-Exactly!

K-Listen, listen, wait; if I asked you what your name
is, what will be your answer?
W-Watt’s my name.
K-No, no, give me only one word.
W-Watt
K-Your name!
W-Right!

[pause before it hits him]

K-Oh, Wright!
W-Yeah!
K-So why didn’t you say it before?
W-I told you so many times!
K-You never said Wright before
W-Of course I did.
K-Ok I won’t argue any more. Do you know my name?
W-I do not.
K-Well, there you go, now we know each other’s name.
W-I do not!
K-Good!

[pause before it hits him]

W-Oh, Guud!
K-Good.
W-No wonder, it took me so long, is that Dutch?
K-No, it’s Knott!
W-Oh, okay. At least the names are clear now Guud.
K-Yes Wright.

No Offence !!!

In a rustic jat lingo.. “Rehen do SirJi.. Ladees Driver hain.. hota hain” 🙂

Few stills on the same context….

and one more video, which is kinda IQ challenger 😉