Icons and……Eye-Cons!

Robin Utthappa, Dinesh Kartik and Yuvraj appear to be deeply enchanted by the raw visual appeal of Bisleri bottles :p

Note Robin’s and Yuvi’s index fingers. The trigonometry can be quite complex….!

Candid comments please.

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Nothing Official About It…

Cud Wiser By The Day.....

Cud….Wiser By The Day

Just when you thought Hope will keep us alive…

Due to the current financial crisis facing the world at the moment, the light at the end of the tunnel will be switched off to save on electricity costs, until further notice.

Sincerely yours,

God

Kahaani poori filmi hai bhaiiiiiii..!

Being a self-confessed filmi keeda, I cannot help but keep returning to bollywood day in and day out. Catching an old flick on cable, there are many moments when I cringe/laugh/shudder/cry at the unintentional emotions brought out by the characters on the screen and at times, off screen too.

Well, this is just a random compilation of my reactions to our apna bollywood.

1. I  would love to invite Mohd. Aziz as my dinner guest and get my Bheja fried looking at his scrap book and asking him to sing ‘mard taangewala’ or for that matter ANY of his songs. The way this guy pronounced some of the words (specially ‘hai’ as in Maa kyun pareshaan hai, apni kismat pe hairaan hai..) I mean his idol Mohd Rafi would be shuddering in his grave. And for a long time in the 80s, I thought this guy was Rafi’s son! Goddammittt!

2. The Jagdeeps and Kader Khans and Asranis though talented reduced the so called ‘comedy’ to such slapstick levels that I cannot help but cringe. I have lost count of how many times I have seen the track of a comedian romancing an Upasana Singh/Aroona Irani/etc. in hide-n-seek moments inside her house with the girl’s baap being fooled. Couldn’t they think of anything else???

3. If you have seen movies of 70s or 80s, there were 2-3 child artistes who looked so similar to me that I couldn’t make out who is munna and who is munni. I mean I know for a child, you just need to change knickers to frocks to make him a ‘she’ and vice versa, but still child artistes and their roles were treated so shabbily, that I want to slap the movie makers of that era. Precocious to the core, crying and wiping tears at the drop of a hat, and being given toffeeeee or chocolate by every adult in the house. I never actually saw these bachchas eating cereals in the movie. Guess they survived on the chocolates and toffees.

4. The court scenes! yeah yeah. I know you know what I mean. We’ve seen it all and discussed it all. I have never actually visited a court room for real and don’t really know. But , just like Jagdish Raj never got out of the police officer attire even in his bed while making love to his wife, some of the actors never got out of the black coats of Judge or Advocate. Why, oh why they always adjourned the hearing to ‘agale somvaar’ when they could have wrapped it up then and there ? Maybe the judge needed a long weekend to holiday or just went on a long bio break. Whatever!

There are n number of such moments I myself  have but I guess I shall adjourn it till ‘agale somvaar’ and its time for all the munnas and munnis to share their thoughts and I promise them a handful of chocolates in return!

FourPlay ?

This is what my envelop for Vodafone Bill for January Looked like.

” A pretty young girl holding  Jeans clad legs forming a 4, with an elaborate smile”. Quite thought provoking.

Can someone give a suitable caption and interpret this picture ?
Can someone give a suitable caption and interpret this picture ?

Also, this picture has something weird, something odd. Any views ?

Recession brings biggies to your neighbourhood!

Shop # 1:
Ronnie Screwvala’s  Hardware Stores and ‘You-Tea-We’ chai shop

Shop # 2:
Abbas Tyrewala puncture repair – Maane tu Ya maane Na (Believe it or Not!)

Shop # 3:
A R ‘Muruga-Dossa’India‘s first Non vegetarian south Indian restaurant

Shop # 4:
Bejan Daruwala Desi wine shop –Drink desi Wine
and

Forget your future in 2009 !

Shop # 5:
Karan Johari – Jewellery shop (Its all about loving your pendants!)

Shop # 6 :
Abhisheks MilkShakes – with BUN, TEA and BUBBLE(E) absolutely free (yeah yeah yeah I made it rhyme too)

Shop#7 :
Kareenas Tatoos – with SAIF needles ( and hold on… no no no pun, or double meaning intended)

Shop # 8:
Hrithik RationsKaho Na Pyaaz Hai!

Shop # 9:
Emraan Hashmi Dawakhana – We specialise in Badaam – Kisser Chyawanprash

Shop# 10:
Mahesh Bhutta – Only the best buttered corny stuff available here

Shop# 11:
Subhash Ghee and OilsTel se Tel milaao…

Shop # 12:

Salmon Can’s Canned Salmons + Arbooze Can’s Canned Beer outlet – Food that is CANtagious…

Shop # 13:

ShatruGUN Sinners Arms & Ammunition shop – First Josh, then Behosh and finally Khaamosh

Shop # 14 :

GoWINDah’s Table and Ceiling Fan Shop – Techicolour fans that will cool you but leave you blinded for life….(we also sell a Boppy Lahiri model with encrusted cheap flashy stones)

Shop # 15 :

Amitabh Watch n Ward – specialist in BIG, blog outsourcing and

watch (slum)dogging

Shop # 16 :

Nagesh Cook-u-Noor’s cheap Thai food Restaurant.

Shop # 17:

Ratan Bhai Tattoo – We use invisible ink made using nano-technology.

Shop # 18:

Laxmi Metal – World’s largest dealer in junk and scrap.

Shop # 19:

Roma Lingerie (By Raju) –  Finally, we’ve started believing in transparency!

Shop # 20:

Mallika’s Sherbat – Finger Lickin’ Good!

Shop # 21:

Aram Gonepal Varma’s  management Consultancy- How to run a Company, manage a Contract, Nishabd-ly screw the Sarkar , finally Phoonk the profits, Daud to Jungle and stay Mast.

Shop # 22:

King Shriek Can– Desi I scream parlour.

Special flavours include- Kabhi Kulpi kabhi Gam, Kabhi Almond na kehna, Swedish, Tub ne bana di Jodi, Cone Banega Crorepati,

Shop # 23:

AmirCan Gent SaloonFor variety of hairstyles

Special offer- One Ghajini cutting  free with one Mangal Pande cutting.

Shop # 24:

Ice Oriya Wry – Specialist Dry Cleaners

Special discounted rate for Watch n Wards

Shop # 25:

Govinda’s Dho-Bindass: Dhobi No. 1.

Shop # 26:

PriceWaterhouse Capers – Planners and executers of large scale heists

Smoke and mirrors, that’s all there is to it

I chanced upon this archive of an India Today article from 1996. Since the magazine itself offers archives only from August 2007, this is a poor transcript from some 3rd party website. It refers to the Rs.350 Crore fraud perpetrated by one of India’s most admired companies, ITC Ltd., back in early 1990s. Adjusted for inflation, that is probably as much or more than the Rs.5000 crore illusion conjured by Satyam. Two decades later, the villains are the same (top corporate executives) and the comedians are the same (bumbling cops from SEBI, ED, CID and DCA on the trail), which makes me fairly confident that the climax will be the same as well— clean-chit for the CEOs and a stronger, larger Satyam in 10 years (maybe, even a proud entry into Forbes 2000 list). Ready for a sequel?

A better way to deal with our indignation would be for India to stop being ashamed at the corporate cheating and, instead, export it as our intellectual contribution to the world of financial engineering. Let the Indian concept of “jugaad” become an envied skill, an aspirational value. Universities that can run programs to pass this knowledge can then demand millions in tuition fee to rival the likes of Harvard and Wharton. Students will be more than happy to learn more “practical” skills on running a business. Tihar Jail can be converted into the flagship campus for this new university. While the West wastes time slogging at their patents and inventions, our desi graduates will be minting millions in minutes (or at least, inflating the books to account for it).

I, for one, am quite proud to be a Slumdog Millionaire.