Dirty talks

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.

“Well,” said her mother, “so – how was the honeymoon?” “Oh, mama,” she replied, “the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic…”

Suddenly she burst out crying. “But, mama, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language – things I’d never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You’ve got to come get me and take me home… PLEASE MAMA!”

“Sarah, Sarah,” her mother said, “calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?” “Please don’t make me tell you, mama,” wept the daughter, “I’m so embarrassed – they’re just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!!”

“Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset… Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!”

Still sobbing, the bride said, “Oh, mama… words like:

DUST, WASH, IRON, COOK…”!

Dirty Mind

It’s Just your Dirty Mind

I’m sure you can imagine
As plain as you can be
The place is Picadilly
The player is He and She

She whispered “Will it hurt me?”
“Of course not” answered he
“It’s a very simple process,
You can rely on me.”

She said “I’m frightened,
I’ve not had this before.
My friend has had it five times.
And said it can be sore.

Then finally contented
Laid back and relaxed a bit
Quickly and readily he bent over her
And then he started it.

It was growing rather painful
Tears formed in her eyes
It was hurting quite a bit now
It must have been quite a size

“Calm yourself” he whispered
His face was filled with a grin
“Try and open a bit wider
So I can get in.”

“It’s coming now.” he whispered.
“I know.” she cried in a bliss
Feeling it deep within her now
She said “I am glad I am having this..”

And with final effort
She gave a frightened shout.
He gripped it in anguish
And quickly pulled it out.

She lay back quite contented
Sighed and gave a smile
She said “I am glad I came now
You made it worth my while.”

.

.

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Now if you read this carefully
The dentist you will find…
Is not what you imagined
It’s just your dirty mind!!!….